Empty the Pews
by Mike James
I recently read a book titled Empty the Pews, which contains twenty-one essays by people who left hardline, authoritarian Christian groups. As the numbers for Church of God and other Christian groups continue to decline, I think it is important to see if we can find anything in these stories that may help us keep our young people. According to one estimate, 40 percent of people under 30 in the United States are religiously unaffiliated.
The editors of the book, Chrissy Stroop and Lauren O’Neal, cite a number of reasons as to why many young people are leaving right-wing Christianity: shame, repression, hypocrisy, and that many of the church’s teachings didn’t make sense. Let’s take a closer look at some details in the essays of this book and see what we can learn about not turning away our young people.
A few of the writers in this book are either homosexual or bi-sexual. Now there is no doubt homosexuality and bi-sexuality are sinful practices (Romans 1:26-28). Just like adultery, fornication, and lustful thoughts (1 Corinthians 6:9; Matthew 5:28). But I believe how we communicate that can make a difference. In the book, one of the writers is quoted saying this, “…after it became impossible to take seriously the notion that I could continue communicating with a God who preferred me dead to gay.” The writer’s experience with their church gave them the impression God was out to kill gays rather than have mercy on them. Most of conservative Christianity today teaches if you don’t follow Jesus now you will burn in a fiery hell for eternity. But the Church of God groups, like the Church of God International (CGI), teach a second resurrection for all those who never truly commit to Christ. We believe eventually everyone will have a true opportunity to follow Christ before they are judged. We believe in a God who does not want to kill sinners, but provides a real opportunity for all to make it at different times (Revelation 20:5-6; Ezekiel 16:53-55; John 6:44-45; Matthew 12:41-42). I think we need to emphasize this great truth which could lead some who are struggling with sin to know God is more about love and mercy than punishment. Knowing the true nature of God can even help people fighting sin now continue to battle and overcome now (Matthew 9:13; Philippians 4:13)!
Another recurring theme in the book was the fear and horror a number of the writers experienced as children in trying to cope with the thought of an ever-burning hell. Here are a couple excerpts from the book on the writer’s childhood experience of contemplating hell: “If I went to hell I would be there forever, longer than a year, longer than a lifetime…I wondered about the people who might go there even if I didn’t, the girls who lived down the street from me…” Another stated, “Like many Christian children, I thought constantly about hell—whether I’d go there, whether my Jewish or nonreligious friends at school would go there…” One girl who grew up in a fundamentalist church school began to act out when her parents moved her to Utah. Before she left she was warned by those at her school about the Mormon religion and thought she might be influenced by Satan. Her parents thought she had behavioral issues, but the writer said, “The truth is I just didn’t want to go to hell.” In other words, due to what she had learned about hell as a child in a fundamentalist school, she began to act rebellious and bad in her new environment because she had been scared into thinking she might lose her salvation through Mormon influence. By acting out she thought it might free her of the Mormon influence in her school. Burning in eternal fire and pain for eternity is not the best thing to tell a small child. And thanks be to God that the CGI understands the truth about this subject—that there is no eternal burning hell. The wicked will merely be consumed (Malachi 4:1-3) by a fire and die (Romans 6:23) if they do not choose to follow God when they get their opportunity. For more information, read our booklet, Hell, You Say? You can find the booklet on this website under our Media menu heading—choose the Literature link.
One other major theme in the book was that hypocrisy led some of these millennials to turn away from their conservative church upbringing. One young woman described the rigidity in her early formative years of life. She experienced intimidation, threats, emotional and economic abuse, isolation and the use of adult privilege or institutions for abuse. Her father was heavily influenced by Bill Gothard, the founder of the Institute in Basic Life Principles. In 2014, Gothard resigned from his position after being accused of molesting teenage staffers and interns. Let us hope we in the Church don’t misuse our authority as parents and leaders and drive our young people from the Church.
The main idea I learned from the book is how most of society does not even know what Christianity is really all about. There are so many people out there preaching and teaching things that are just not biblical. These people are doing real damage to those of us who are trying to follow what God’s Word really says. We at CGI are not perfect, and we do make mistakes, but we learn and grow from those mistakes. Make sure you use the resources of our booklets and CDs to learn the truth of Christianity rather than the lies many are teaching. Because the lies Christians are speaking have negative consequences.