Family Reunion
by Mike James
In July I attended a family reunion in Nashville, Tennessee. My cousin’s home was picked because of the centrality of his location to relatives in the east and west. He also has done very well for himself and he has a very large backyard with a huge pool. This reunion was for family members on my father’s side of the family. The last time I saw so many members of my family at an event was a funeral. It was good to see everyone on a more joyous occasion.
One observation I made over the weekend was the enjoyment my daughter (an only child) had in getting to play and talk to her cousins and other relatives. She didn’t want to leave. It brought back memories for me about family gatherings of the past when I was a kid. I really enjoyed seeing and playing with my cousins. Many life lessons were learned in those times.
Everything did not go perfectly. Some of us were late in getting to activities we had planned. My wife and I had another disagreement. My daughter forgot something at my cousin’s house. She always seems to forget something everywhere we go. There also were not enough hamburgers during our cookout meal. I had to settle for hot dogs. But all in all it was a very positive experience and it made me think about God and His family.
Right from the beginning of the Bible God lets us know the importance of family. We read that in the first chapter of Genesis. In Genesis 1:27 God creates man in His own image, just like the children parents have are similar to them. God also wanted man to be united with woman (Genesis 2:24). One of the purposes of this union was to increase the number of humans on the earth (Genesis 1:28). But is that the only reason for family?
No not at all. Obviously families are made to continue the legacy of humanity on the earth. But there is much more going on in every family on the earth. A family is a laboratory in which we can better understand and comprehend what love is all about. There is no better vehicle in which to do this than family.
No matter what kind of family you come from you probably have good and bad memories of your family experiences—hopefully more good than bad. I think God knew that putting people together in bonding circumstances was a perfect way to learn the lessons we all need to learn to become more like God (1 John 4:8).
Now let’s remember the definition of love in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.…” Family relationships allow for all of these qualities and all of their opposites to bubble to the surface more so than any other relationships.
It’s easy to show love to your neighbor, friend, or co-worker because you don’t have to deal with them as often as your family members. But through the crucible of familial relationships we are all tested at one time or another in our ability to love.
Patience is much more difficult to manage when you have to take care of an aging parent in your own home. What if that parent is also dealing with a serious disease like Alzheimer’s? It’s hard to always be kind when your wife or husband continues to do that annoying thing they just can’t seem to stop doing. It’s much easier to be envious of a brother or cousin who is more successful because it may make you realize you could have been that successful growing up in similar circumstances. Everyone has to vent at one time or another and family members are the most likely folks to see your anger or selfish actions.
But on the other side of the coin, family gives us the greatest opportunity to turn things around, to redeem ourselves and our previous bad behavior. You usually have to live with your brother, sister, mother, and father. You can’t escape them when the work day ends. They live in your house. Opportunities for forgiveness and letting go of the past are much more available with those you live with.
I hope you will use this blog to think about how you can better learn the lessons of love in your own family. Because it should be your goal in life to become more like your spiritual Father and elder Brother. Love has to be practiced with others in order to be perfected.